Domino’s Pizza wins UK emergency service contract
Popular pizza chain Domino’s has been unveiled as the winner of a tender to provide the police, fire and ambulance emergency services within the UK.

‘During a trial Domino’s Pizza out-performed the current service provider by 90%,’ said a Government spokesperson. ’Their record of having a pizza delivery boy on site within 30 minutes of the call being made, or your money back, seems to transfer well to the provision of emergency services.’

‘I ordered a pizza from Domino’s a couple of weeks ago and it arrived within 20 minutes,’ said one satisfied customer. ’But when I was burgled the next night the police didn’t come out until the following Tuesday, so this move makes perfect sense to me. Mind you, I did think it was strange that the next time I ordered a pizza the delivery boy let himself in using my keys.’

Domino’s Pizza has also pledged that if their fire crews arrive too late and find a house burned to the ground, the loss will be eased somewhat with a free medium pepperoni pizza.